Ray Family Update from July 2024

Dear Praying Friends,

I have spent much of my adult life second-guessing, judging, or evaluating my principles and practices. I assume that this has served me well, at times, but there are no doubt that other times it has left me feeling very underwhelmed, unaccomplished, and inadequate in ways that maybe God never intended. As I look at my life in the present, I feel very much as though I am simply spinning my wheels and making little to no traction. I tend to be keenly aware of lessons the Lord seeks to teach me, but unable to put them fully in practice and make the necessary changes to see the lessons come to fruition. I become aware of priorities that may or may not be in alignment with the Lord’s priorities for my life and ministry, but the paradigmatic shift required looks similar to what I imagine the giants looked to the children of Israel when contemplating their ability to take the land of promise. I often wonder what it is that keeps me settling for normalcy and routine. Is it the fear of man? Is it the fear of failure? Is it the fear of being different? Surely, none of the above are of the Lord. Neither would they be pleasing reasons or justifications before the Lord.

The truth is, the Lord has allowed me to be a part of some pretty spectacular things. I have had the privilege of working on some great books, two definitive works on the rapture of the church and one on a balanced and biblical view of dispensationalism, among other works. I was blessed to have a part in the greatest and most complete hymnal to ever be published. I have been able to preach with and for some of the greatest and most appreciated men in the country. Yet, in all this, my insecurities remind me just how inadequate and incapable I am. Sadly, my lack of confidence in my own abilities overrides my faith in God’s abilities. Therefore, I remain uncertain, unsure, and underwhelmed with my progress. To be honest, the pressure is just too much. With this in mind, I often look at other men with envy, wondering how they have everything so well put together. This too is folly! Ask any one of the men who you think have it all together and they will let you know that they feel the same way—inadequate and underachieving. It truly reminds me of what William Carey said to his nephew regarding anyone who would choose, after his decease, to write of his life, “if...any one should think it worth his while to write my life, I will give you a criterion by which you may judge of its correctness. If he gives me credit for being a plodder, he will describe me justly. Anything beyond this will be too much. I can plod.”—from This Day in Baptist History (p.143). How convicting is that, especially when considering how accomplished William Carey truly was!

I am certain that many men are plagued with the same troubles and insecurities with which I am plagued. Yet, God frequently encourages or humbles as needed to ensure our continued service and growth. At one of my lowest points in the ministry, God used a pastor from Deland, Florida, to demonstrate a level of confidence in me that I did not personally or presently have. Pastor James Knox, a man I greatly respect for his faithful stand, called me up and asked me to be one of the preachers at his upcoming Bible conference. It may seem foolish to you, but, at that moment, I thought surely I am not as big of a failure as I feel myself to be or Brother Knox would not have entrusted me with preaching at his church. That man, who greatly encouraged me in a dark time, is now facing his own challenge (cancer) and I trust that you will take the time to pray with me, not only for his healing, but also for his continual encouragement as he fights this battle.